Posts Tagged ‘San Diego Comic Con’

This isn't the question I'm asking... But it's close.

There are a lot of good comic-centric blogs out there… So I feel very privileged that you have decided to spend some of your valuable time here– reading mine. I promise that I’ll always try to do my best to make things interesting. Whether or not I actually succeed will be for you to decide.

Which brings me to this topic:

Have you ever noticed how some Bloggers post a lot of shit but don’t really take the time to delve into their subjects or report on their topics… PREFERRING TO JUST ASK QUESTIONS?

Dan Slott’s taking over Spider-Ham full-time! What do YOU think of that?

The San Diego Comic Con may move to Newfoundland! What do YOU think of that?

Better than the New Avengers?

Marvel Studios just unveiled the cast of their new Great Lakes Avengers movie! Did they make the right actor picks? Do YOU think Snookie and The Situation got the shaft?

Can you believe DC is publishing 49 Bat-Mite One-Shot Comics in October? What the heck are they thinking? What do YOU think they’re thinking? Any thoughts?


It’s not lost on me that my statements concerning this issue might be misconstrued as being a little pompous— especially for mentioning this sad practice when my Blog is only a couple of weeks old. But, hey– I’ve been reading blogs since the beginning of Blogs, buster… So I think my comments have just as much validity as any other person posting on this subject via the wild, wild internet(s).

And please don’t get me wrong: I think an occasional question or poll is a GREAT THING for any blog!

Questions and polls (both of which I have already generated here) are great ways to spur interest and to solicit participation from your readership… And while many of us blog because we have things we need to get off our chests… Any blogger who says they could care less if anyone reads their blog is fooling themselves… and attempting to bullshit you. Bloggers want you to read and participate.

If Bloggers didn’t want us to read their opinions– they wouldn’t publish them. They’d just walk up and down city streets mumbling to themselves. (Which is actually what I used to do before I started to blog.)

So, with the thought of questions in mind– Why do so many damn Bloggers ask so many damn questions?

Personally, I think they’re just being lazy.

I’ve designed and constructed a blog now… I am writing a blog now… And I have already admitted twice in 2 separate posts that my admiration for Bloggers has increased tremendously. If you want to do this right– it’s not easy. And, at least for me, the only way to do this right is to actually have an opinion on 99% of the subjects I focus on here. (And if I don’t have a serious opinion– then I hope I at least have a decent enough joke to make some of you laugh!)

Why Not?

There is one comic related blog I read every day where the Blogger never stops asking fucking questions. He or she (I don’t really know their sex… I think I know but I don’t really care) starts off strong every day but then as their cell phone starts to ring or other distractions of the day start to mount, they go into SQM– Serious Question Mode. How easy do YOU think it is to post some news bite (or rumor) and then ask how people feel about it? (Let me tell you just how easy it is: It took me seconds to type the previous question.) With no real opinions to formulate, you could easily becoming the Guinness Book of World Records Blog Post Poster Child by sending those suckers off into the ether at 2, 3 or 4 an hour… And still have time to scarf down a fruit pie and guzzle a coffee.

If Blog importance or validity were measured by the sheer number of posts– my Blog would definitely have the shortest, limpest, uh, post count in town. I simply can’t write 20 posts a day and still do the things in life that pay my bills. I mean, I am enjoying the experience so far– but if you think I’m gonna lose my house over this or stop [*gasp*] making enough money to buy comics or Girls Gone Wild! DVDs because of this blog… Well, lets just say, “You don’t know me.” and leave it at that. 😉

Plus– I don’t have 20 decent thoughts every day. There. I said it. (Sadly, my indecent thoughts are legion.) There. I said that. Too. And anybody who does think that they have 20 decent musings worth posting every day better have the first name “Stephen” and the last name “Hawking”– or I’m gonna call foul!

In the end, I am adopting a strange (for me) live and let live approach to this subject. What other Bloggers do is really none of my concern. If they want to play “20 Questions” every day, let them have at it!

I know this all probably sounds just a little crazy…

What do YOU think?!?

I can't imagine having this many friends-- let alone this many to COSPLAY with!

This is my fave San Diego story– so I’ll cut right to the meat and forgo all my long-winded “filler” crap:

It’s San Diego Comic Con. After a hard day “working” the convention (Hey! Walking around and talking to people about their projects and books IS hard!)– I decide to hit the Gaslamp District bars with one of my Favorite Pals in the whole wide world– a married comic book writer (one of those descriptive facts will become important in a second) that I’ll call Bill. (Mainly ’cause “Bill” is easy to type.)

We walk into this bar– which is wall-to-wall. Everybody’s drinking profusely. Lots of attractive people inside too.

My kind of place.

We struggle to reach the bar. It’s worse than Manhattan’s “A” Train during RUSH HOUR. You’re forced to rub up against all kinds of people you’d rather not– but the few you do like rubbing up against make up for the close “dude-on-dude” contact.

Order drinks. Laughing. Meeting all kinds of new people. Very attractive women decide that the bar floor is too crowded and we help them hop on the bar so they can dance.

Thank you Lindsay Lohan. Thank you Paris Hilton. Thank you Britney Spears.

If you know where to look, you'll see A LOT of these in San Diego.

Out of the 5 ladies now dancing on the bar– 4 have on short dresses and have obviously forgotten they’ve gone commando tonight.

Enjoying the view. Drinks and sights are making us randy.

Bill (the married one, remember) suddenly sees a beautiful tanned goddess walk by wearing a flimsy black dress so short it should be (and probably is in Utah) illegal.

Suddenly Bill’s hand darts up and up under the lady’s skirt… Where I can tell by the way his forearm muscles are tightly flexing– Bill has decided to partake in a serious gambit of GRAB ASS.

The woman snaps her neck around and yelps, “Hey, that’s MY ASS!”

Bill, not losing a beat, replies, “Yeah, I know! Isn’t it great?

And then the woman smiles, Bill finally loosens his grip and INEXPLICABLY she says, “You’re cute.” and kisses him on the mouth.

And they say “The Meek shall inherit the Earth”.

Yeah. Right.

Yeah, there are a lot of different websites telling you what you should– and should not do– when you go to the San Diego Comic Con. I’m not going to focus on any of that Comics Crap. I’ll let the other Geek websites do that. I’m going to recommend other types of fun that have nothing to do with the Con– or con activities like late night film screenings, costume contests or the private and semi-private comics related parties that litter the hotels every night.

Instead, if you are FUN-LOVING SINGLE MALE 21 or OLDER— I’m going to tell you what you need to know if you find yourself San Diego, California looking for a good time.*

(*I apologize in advance to any easily offended women who might be reading this post– as I can only speak from the male perspective– and well, some of the following might get just a little bit raunchy.)

First, You MUST Go Here

There are ALWAYS LOTS OF BEAUTIFUL SINGLE WOMEN in the Gaslamp District... and the streets are NEVER this empty! Officials obviously closed the street for this shot.

The Gaslamp District is a NON-STOP PARTY.

The street really starts heating up on Wednesday Night and then it’s basically nothing but wall-to-wall partying through the weekend. There are lots of gorgeous single women here too… And they like to dance. Don’t worry if you can’t dance. Most of the young ladies are suffering from various levels of intoxication– so they most likely won’t notice.


Fellow Comic Enthusiasts: After a long day at the Con– do everybody a favor and shower, shave and brush your teeth before heading our for a night of adventure. A decent shirt that evokes cool and breezy San Diego– as opposed to some Yoda t-shirt that screams “Last laid in 2003” will also improve your chances of having more fun.

Most of all– Treat ALL the ladies you encounter with the utmost respect. Don’t ever take advantage. Believe me when I tell you that you will hate yourself in the morning if you do– especially if you wake up in the San Diego County Jail with an assault charge hanging over your head. If you think life sucks now, get arrested by the San Diego Police. They may work in one of the most stunning cities in the world but they take no shit and do not suffer fools gladly. I guarantee you there are no cute Killer Whales in their various jails… And you do not want to be on their Shit List.

Go to the District and slowly scarf some delicious Italian food (the area is thick with wonderful places to eat). Partake in the fine bars and overflowing dance clubs. Many of the restaurants also have hopping bars where the gorgeous indigenous population seeks refuge after regular dinner hours… As the “locals” wisely steer clear of the bigger clubs when there’s a big convention in town.

Second, You MUST Go Here

(Especially if you have never been to one!)

I can't guarantee this fine looking woman will at Pure Platinum when you go-- but I CAN guarantee some other equally fine women will be there ready to suck ALL the cash out of your wallet.

Yes, that’s right. I just recommended you go to a San Diego Strip Club called Pure Platinum.

There are actually 2 Pure Platinum clubs in San Diego. The Harborside Club on Pacific Highway (my favorite place to unwind during the convention) is the closest Pure Platinum to the SD Convention Center.

Nothing like a GEEK FRIENDLY Gentleman's Club!

You’ll want to take a cab (even if you drove your car to San Diego)– because you will surely end up buying many overpriced drinks– if you’re inclined to do such a thing.

I am also not attempting to cast any illusions here. The Pure Platinum dancers are, on the whole, normally very beautiful… But their one goal, like any “exotic” dancer’s intent– is to rub up against you and get you to part with all of your money.

I have always likened these wonderful women to Reverse ATM Machines™ because that is their job– to suck money out of your wallet. You should understand this in advance because Kandy or Krystal or Starr (Not their real names– how did you ever guess?) are just at the club to work and make money. Personally, I have never blamed one of these women for doing their job… Even more so if they do it well. Of course, some dancers do their jobs better than others… 🙂

My best advice— especially if going to a strip club for the first time (or even attending a LARGE strip club like Pure Platinum for the first time)– is to bring a wingman. Hopefully he or she (you’d be surprised how many women enjoy going to strip clubs and even getting lap dances) will watch out for you and you can watch out for them. That way if you get shitfaced— your friend hopefully won’t allow you to give your favorite female dancer your debit card and your cell phone so she can call Victoria Secret.

Be careful. If the lure of an expensive toy or book is too much to handle and you plan to spend most– if not all– your money inside the Convention Hall… Or if you don’t have a lot of money to spend on San Diego entertainment… I suggest you bypass these clubs altogether. If you only want to spend a certain amount of money at one of these clubs– then I suggest you put the money you want to spend on dances and dancers in one pocket and your cab money in the other… And for fuck sake– Don’t spend your cab money!

Don't let all the PURPLE fool you. The only ROYALTY recognized here are the ALEXANDER HAMILTONS and ANDREW JACKSONS coming out of your pocket. LINCOLNS will get you noticed-- but drop a BENJAMIN FRANKLIN on a nice dancer and you WILL know what it is like to be treated like a KING... For at least a dance or two.

The dancers will not be driving you to your hotel, nor will they be driving you to their house.

The same social conduct rules for the Gaslamp District apply for a Strip Club. Don’t assume because you are paying for a ladies’ attention that you can be crude. That’s a 100% FOOL move. Be nice. Be respectful. If you can manage both of these emotions while a half-naked goddess is sitting on your lap–  you’ll be surprised how much fun you can have.

Just PROMISE that you understand NONE of these women are going to get busy with you. 1 in 10,000 dancers might have sex with you– but it would most likely have to be an organic thing… Like any chance encounter. If there ever was a business where most of the employees wouldn’t dare to date the clientele– This is it. The dancers definitely won’t solicit you (unless you’re lucky enough to be David Boreanz or Tiger Woods or Jesse James)… And if YOU solicit a dancer for sex, you will most likely get thrown out of the club… Or worse, be stupid enough to land your keister in jail. So be cool.

And Remember…